After completing a sale with a girl who was buying books for her teaching credential classes, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had given her some solid advice about which books to keep close at hand in the classroom and which ones to sell back right after passing her classes. She was grateful, I felt important, and everyone was happy. Then I looked up to wave the next person in line over to my register. The smiling customer walking toward me was Anna, a student from my first year of teaching. That was the moment that my body temperature rose several degrees and my red face contorted into an unnatural and strained grin. Suddenly my little blue bookstore apron and nametag with a smiley face on it seemed to be burning my flesh through my clothes. I was of course happy to see Anna again, but the first words out of her mouth were, "Uh, Ms. W-, what are you doing working here?" I tried to explain that I was making some extra cash while waiting for my writing career to take off, but it all sounded contrived and unrealistic because I felt so out of place. I started to mention my night classes as a second attempt at an explanation, but I just ended up trailing off because her transaction was actually very complicated and I had to focus. She had rental books which require additional forms and supervisor sign-offs, and it was only my first few hours on the register. I started fumbling through the process and dropping things while trying to ask Anna in a cheery voice what she's “up to these days?!” Anna has a way of smiling at you that lets you know she thinks you're being strange. I recognized the look right away, because the last time I saw that look from Anna, I had just tripped over my podium at the front of the classroom and sent papers and pens flying. Anna once told me that she thought my clumsiness was endearing. This not only made me feel a little better as a person who cant seem to avoid being awkward, but I was also proud because "endearing" was one of our vocabulary words and Anna had used it perfectly.
In any event, Anna was finding me particularly endearing at the bookstore, because the smile on her face just kept getting bigger as I kept talking, fumbling and stuffing her books into her bag. The crowning moment came when I tried to staple her receipt to her book-rental agreement. I must have approached the paper at the wrong angle, or maybe it was just the Staple Gods screwing with me, but the stapler got stuck and I ended up mangling an entire corner of her paper. It looked like a large woodland creature had decided to munch on Anna's paperwork, but wasn't really that committed to the idea and gave up halfway through. Anna actually laughed out loud as she watched me try to flatten the shreds of paper, then said, "Thanks Ms. W-. It's fine like that". In a last attempt to redeem myself and show Anna that I'm still her teacher even though I'm working the register, I said, "Have a great semester Anna. Study hard!!” It would have been ok, but the "study hard" part came out a little too loud and several people around us turned to see who the "yeller" was. Anna left smiling and chuckling, and I needed a few moments before I could call anyone else over to my register. The best part is, I've just realized exactly how many of my students mentioned this college as their future school on graduation day. I could be having this much fun all week!
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